If you start out trying to beat a new video game, the last thing you’d do is tell yourself “I HAVE to win it on this try or else I'm a failure!” Imagine someone who did that and failed. He’d immediately start naming all the things that went wrong, that he should've done, and he might be unwilling to try again.

But the overall goal is not to date one particular woman. The overall goal is to become better with all women. That includes your mail lady, your teacher, the cute bartender, the librarian, your friend Jenny, the waitress… any woman that comes into your life. You don't have to attract all of them, just be engaging, be interested in them as people, smile and win them over.

You'll have some successes and many failures, but you'll be learning, tinkering and improving all along the way... and eventually you'll get it. At that point, it’ll be that much easier to end up with Mrs. Right.

One final note. Many of my students came to me believing their looks were the reason why they didn’t attract women. Trust me on this, the reason is rarely “he’s not good looking enough” or “he’s too short” or “he’s too young.” I've seen guys with shriveled hands, lazy eyes, and scars across their faces attract the women they want. You have no excuse.

Stick to what you can control (your personali

The Bumpy Soap Method is my answer. It’s something that we all instinctively know, except it leaves us when we need it most. When you become consciously aware of it, you’ll find it’s the best way to get anything you want out of life.

I always think best in the shower. For whatever reason, when I'm there my mind tends to wander and thoughts flow freely. Like yesterday, for example…

I had a little sliver of soap left to use. It had gotten so small that most people would toss it aside and unleash a new bar. Not me. And as it slipped out of my hand a third, fourth and fifth time, my mind began to wander again.

What is happening? Soap keeps slipping. Why? No bumps on it to grip onto. Maybe I should make a soap that stays bumpy and see if that works.

Granted, sometimes I come up with less brilliant ideas in the shower. Yet for all the spaceships and processors and amazing achievements in this world, the Bumpy Soap still eludes us.

But soon I drifted away from the actual result of my thinking, and instead focused on the method.

Essentially, it’s the method every inventor uses to improve a product. It’s the method every video gamer uses to beat a game. It’s the method every scientist uses when he tries to explain the world. And yet, when guys try to improve with women, this all-powerful method – deemed Bumpy Soap – completely disappears from our minds. Weird.

Bumpy Soap is a 4-step process:

1) Identify the problem.

2) Identify why the problem occurs.

3) Adjust accordingly and try again.

4) If there’s still a problem, repeat till you find success.

Here’s how it works out for those trying to become better with women…

Step 1: Identify the problem.

Simple: “I’m not attracting women.”

Step 2: Then, identify one main reason why this problem occurs.

When I was just starting out, my problem was “I’m not meeting enough women.”

My friend Brad’s problem was “I’m staying in the friend zone.”

Many of my students have said “Women look down upon me.”

There are a few other possibilities, but normally it’s one of these three.

Step 3: Next, adjust accordingly.

Put on your thinking cap, or inventor’s cap, or scientist cap, or gamer’s cap, and try to figure out how to stop that problem from happening.

“I’m not meeting enough women.” For me, it was simple. Go out and meet more women. I decided to walk around outside and start a conversation with every woman who passed by, and see how that goes.

“I’m staying in the friend zone.” Brad decided the best way to get out of the friend zone was to tell his friends his true feelings. He’d do so, and also be more direct about his intentions when meeting new women, and see how that goes.

“Women look down upon me.” My students decided to be more confident in who they are. (Yes, it’s as easy as that. You’d be surprised how easy it is to change when you logically realize confidence gives you a better chance.) They would do so around women, and see how that goes.

Step 4: Testing and Re-analyzing.

Then, we tested. Chances are, you’ll be surprised how accurate you were on your first adjustment.

“I’m not meeting enough women.” I’ve always been an engaging, upbeat person, so I thought it was likely I’d get a few numbers just by overcoming my crippling anxiety. I was right. I approached ten women in public the next day, and got two numbers. I’d tasted blood.

“I’m staying in the friend zone.” Brad made his intentions clear. Sure enough, one of his friends (Stacy) felt the same way back and never thought he’d ask.

“Women look down upon me.” Many of my students, while being more confident, found immediate success with women - getting phone numbers and dates that night - for the first time at bars and clubs.

Successive Testing.

We still had a lot to improve at. While our first attempts won us success, we still weren’t “great” with women. Day by day, we simply tried new things and solved new problems. It was fascinating to learn step by step, and we’d get to be pretty darn decent around women in just a few week’s time. I did it longer, and now I teach it to other men.

What Most Men Do Wrong.

For as much as we use Bumpy Soap in our everyday lives, you’d think it would come naturally to us in the dating world. Not so.

Those who struggle tend to set their sights on one and only one woman in particular. Like a football player in his only Superbowl, he says “I HAVE to get this one or I'm a failure!”

And when they don’t, they delve into all the possible reasons why.

“I’m too fat.” “I don’t smile enough.” “There’s other guys that are better than me.” “I have a scar on my left ear.” “I don’t tell funny jokes.” Yada yada yada. This kind of behavior is destructive, and causes them to look backwards instead of forwards.

Let’s use the video gamer analogy to see how ridiculous this behavior is.

If you start out trying to beat a new video game, the last thing you’d do is tell yourself “I HAVE to win it on this try or else I'm a failure!” Imagine someone who did that and failed. He’d immediately start naming all the things that went wrong, that he should've done, and he might be unwilling to try again.

But the overall goal is not to date one particular woman. The overall goal is to become better with all women. That includes your mail lady, your teacher, the cute bartender, the librarian, your friend Jenny, the waitress… any woman that comes into your life. You don't have to attract all of them, just be engaging, be interested in them as people, smile and win them over.

You'll have some successes and many failures, but you'll be learning, tinkering and improving all along the way... and eventually you'll get it. At that point, it’ll be that much easier to end up with Mrs. Right.

One final note. Many of my students came to me believing their looks were the reason why they didn’t attract women. Trust me on this, the reason is rarely “he’s not good looking enough” or “he’s too short” or “he’s too young.” I've seen guys with shriveled hands, lazy eyes, and scars across their faces attract the women they want. You have no excuse.

Stick to what you can control (your personali

Essentially, it’s the method every inventor uses to improve a product. It’s the method every video gamer uses to beat a game. It’s the method every scientist uses when he tries to explain the world. And yet, when guys try to improve with women, this all-powerful method – deemed Bumpy Soap – completely disappears from our minds. Weird.

Bumpy Soap is a 4-step process:

1) Identify the problem.

2) Identify why the problem occurs.

3) Adjust accordingly and try again.

4) If there’s still a problem, repeat till you find success.

Here’s how it works out for those trying to become better with women…

Step 1: Identify the problem.

Simple: “I’m not attracting women.”

Step 2: Then, identify one main reason why this problem occurs.

When I was just starting out, my problem was “I’m not meeting enough women.”

My friend Brad’s problem was “I’m staying in the friend zone.”

Many of my students have said “Women look down upon me.”

There are a few other possibilities, but normally it’s one of these three.

Step 3: Next, adjust accordingly.

Put on your thinking cap, or inventor’s cap, or scientist cap, or gamer’s cap, and try to figure out how to stop that problem from happening.

“I’m not meeting enough women.” For me, it was simple. Go out and meet more women. I decided to walk around outside and start a conversation with every woman who passed by, and see how that goes.

“I’m staying in the friend zone.” Brad decided the best way to get out of the friend zone was to tell his friends his true feelings. He’d do so, and also be more direct about his intentions when meeting new women, and see how that goes.

“Women look down upon me.” My students decided to be more confident in who they are. (Yes, it’s as easy as that. You’d be surprised how easy it is to change when you logically realize confidence gives you a better chance.) They would do so around women, and see how that goes.

Step 4: Testing and Re-analyzing.

Then, we tested. Chances are, you’ll be surprised how accurate you were on your first adjustment.

“I’m not meeting enough women.” I’ve always been an engaging, upbeat person, so I thought it was likely I’d get a few numbers just by overcoming my crippling anxiety. I was right. I approached ten women in public the next day, and got two numbers. I’d tasted blood.

“I’m staying in the friend zone.” Brad made his intentions clear. Sure enough, one of his friends (Stacy) felt the same way back and never thought he’d ask.

“Women look down upon me.” Many of my students, while being more confident, found immediate success with women - getting phone numbers and dates that night - for the first time at bars and clubs.

Successive Testing.

We still had a lot to improve at. While our first attempts won us success, we still weren’t “great” with women. Day by day, we simply tried new things and solved new problems. It was fascinating to learn step by step, and we’d get to be pretty darn decent around women in just a few week’s time. I did it longer, and now I teach it to other men.

What Most Men Do Wrong.

For as much as we use Bumpy Soap in our everyday lives, you’d think it would come naturally to us in the dating world. Not so.

Those who struggle tend to set their sights on one and only one woman in particular. Like a football player in his only Superbowl, he says “I HAVE to get this one or I'm a failure!”

And when they don’t, they delve into all the possible reasons why.

“I’m too fat.” “I don’t smile enough.” “There’s other guys that are better than me.” “I have a scar on my left ear.” “I don’t tell funny jokes.” Yada yada yada. This kind of behavior is destructive, and causes them to look backwards instead of forwards.

Let’s use the video gamer analogy to see how ridiculous this behavior is.

If you start out trying to beat a new video game, the last thing you’d do is tell yourself “I HAVE to win it on this try or else I'm a failure!” Imagine someone who did that and failed. He’d immediately start naming all the things that went wrong, that he should've done, and he might be unwilling to try again.

But the overall goal is not to date one particular woman. The overall goal is to become better with all women. That includes your mail lady, your teacher, the cute bartender, the librarian, your friend Jenny, the waitress… any woman that comes into your life. You don't have to attract all of them, just be engaging, be interested in them as people, smile and win them over.

You'll have some successes and many failures, but you'll be learning, tinkering and improving all along the way... and eventually you'll get it. At that point, it’ll be that much easier to end up with Mrs. Right.

One final note. Many of my students came to me believing their looks were the reason why they didn’t attract women. Trust me on this, the reason is rarely “he’s not good looking enough” or “he’s too short” or “he’s too young.” I've seen guys with shriveled hands, lazy eyes, and scars across their faces attract the women they want. You have no excuse.

Stick to what you can control (your personali

“I’m not meeting enough women.” For me, it was simple. Go out and meet more women. I decided to walk around outside and start a conversation with every woman who passed by, and see how that goes.

“I’m staying in the friend zone.” Brad decided the best way to get out of the friend zone was to tell his friends his true feelings. He’d do so, and also be more direct about his intentions when meeting new women, and see how that goes.

“Women look down upon me.” My students decided to be more confident in who they are. (Yes, it’s as easy as that. You’d be surprised how easy it is to change when you logically realize confidence gives you a better chance.) They would do so around women, and see how that goes.

Step 4: Testing and Re-analyzing.

Then, we tested. Chances are, you’ll be surprised how accurate you were on your first adjustment.

“I’m not meeting enough women.” I’ve always been an engaging, upbeat person, so I thought it was likely I’d get a few numbers just by overcoming my crippling anxiety. I was right. I approached ten women in public the next day, and got two numbers. I’d tasted blood.

“I’m staying in the friend zone.” Brad made his intentions clear. Sure enough, one of his friends (Stacy) felt the same way back and never thought he’d ask.

“Women look down upon me.” Many of my students, while being more confident, found immediate success with women - getting phone numbers and dates that night - for the first time at bars and clubs.

Successive Testing.

We still had a lot to improve at. While our first attempts won us success, we still weren’t “great” with women. Day by day, we simply tried new things and solved new problems. It was fascinating to learn step by step, and we’d get to be pretty darn decent around women in just a few week’s time. I did it longer, and now I teach it to other men.

What Most Men Do Wrong.

For as much as we use Bumpy Soap in our everyday lives, you’d think it would come naturally to us in the dating world. Not so.

Those who struggle tend to set their sights on one and only one woman in particular. Like a football player in his only Superbowl, he says “I HAVE to get this one or I'm a failure!”

And when they don’t, they delve into all the possible reasons why.

“I’m too fat.” “I don’t smile enough.” “There’s other guys that are better than me.” “I have a scar on my left ear.” “I don’t tell funny jokes.” Yada yada yada. This kind of behavior is destructive, and causes them to look backwards instead of forwards.

Let’s use the video gamer analogy to see how ridiculous this behavior is.

If you start out trying to beat a new video game, the last thing you’d do is tell yourself “I HAVE to win it on this try or else I'm a failure!” Imagine someone who did that and failed. He’d immediately start naming all the things that went wrong, that he should've done, and he might be unwilling to try again.

But the overall goal is not to date one particular woman. The overall goal is to become better with all women. That includes your mail lady, your teacher, the cute bartender, the librarian, your friend Jenny, the waitress… any woman that comes into your life. You don't have to attract all of them, just be engaging, be interested in them as people, smile and win them over.

You'll have some successes and many failures, but you'll be learning, tinkering and improving all along the way... and eventually you'll get it. At that point, it’ll be that much easier to end up with Mrs. Right.

One final note. Many of my students came to me believing their looks were the reason why they didn’t attract women. Trust me on this, the reason is rarely “he’s not good looking enough” or “he’s too short” or “he’s too young.” I've seen guys with shriveled hands, lazy eyes, and scars across their faces attract the women they want. You have no excuse.

Stick to what you can control (your personali

“Women look down upon me.” Many of my students, while being more confident, found immediate success with women - getting phone numbers and dates that night - for the first time at bars and clubs.

Successive Testing.

We still had a lot to improve at. While our first attempts won us success, we still weren’t “great” with women. Day by day, we simply tried new things and solved new problems. It was fascinating to learn step by step, and we’d get to be pretty darn decent around women in just a few week’s time. I did it longer, and now I teach it to other men.

What Most Men Do Wrong.

For as much as we use Bumpy Soap in our everyday lives, you’d think it would come naturally to us in the dating world. Not so.

Those who struggle tend to set their sights on one and only one woman in particular. Like a football player in his only Superbowl, he says “I HAVE to get this one or I'm a failure!”

And when they don’t, they delve into all the possible reasons why.

“I’m too fat.” “I don’t smile enough.” “There’s other guys that are better than me.” “I have a scar on my left ear.” “I don’t tell funny jokes.” Yada yada yada. This kind of behavior is destructive, and causes them to look backwards instead of forwards.

Let’s use the video gamer analogy to see how ridiculous this behavior is.

If you start out trying to beat a new video game, the last thing you’d do is tell yourself “I HAVE to win it on this try or else I'm a failure!” Imagine someone who did that and failed. He’d immediately start naming all the things that went wrong, that he should've done, and he might be unwilling to try again.

But the overall goal is not to date one particular woman. The overall goal is to become better with all women. That includes your mail lady, your teacher, the cute bartender, the librarian, your friend Jenny, the waitress… any woman that comes into your life. You don't have to attract all of them, just be engaging, be interested in them as people, smile and win them over.

You'll have some successes and many failures, but you'll be learning, tinkering and improving all along the way... and eventually you'll get it. At that point, it’ll be that much easier to end up with Mrs. Right.

One final note. Many of my students came to me believing their looks were the reason why they didn’t attract women. Trust me on this, the reason is rarely “he’s not good looking enough” or “he’s too short” or “he’s too young.” I've seen guys with shriveled hands, lazy eyes, and scars across their faces attract the women they want. You have no excuse.

Stick to what you can control (your personali

If you start out trying to beat a new video game, the last thing you’d do is tell yourself “I HAVE to win it on this try or else I'm a failure!” Imagine someone who did that and failed. He’d immediately start naming all the things that went wrong, that he should've done, and he might be unwilling to try again.

But the overall goal is not to date one particular woman. The overall goal is to become better with all women. That includes your mail lady, your teacher, the cute bartender, the librarian, your friend Jenny, the waitress… any woman that comes into your life. You don't have to attract all of them, just be engaging, be interested in them as people, smile and win them over.

You'll have some successes and many failures, but you'll be learning, tinkering and improving all along the way... and eventually you'll get it. At that point, it’ll be that much easier to end up with Mrs. Right.

One final note. Many of my students came to me believing their looks were the reason why they didn’t attract women. Trust me on this, the reason is rarely “he’s not good looking enough” or “he’s too short” or “he’s too young.” I've seen guys with shriveled hands, lazy eyes, and scars across their faces attract the women they want. You have no excuse.

Stick to what you can control (your personality, your courage, your drive), keep developing it day by day with Bumpy Soap, and hone your skills till you know you'll be ready when Mrs. Right enters your life.