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Item Upon - Difficult Relationships at Work - Dealing with Workplace Conflict
If you’re like most people, you’ve never written a press release to call attention to a success you’ve had.And rightly so.But some of you should be sending out press releases or encouraging your company to promote things that you and your group are doing because they are significant.And most of you can be doing the next best thing to a press release:The periodic noteAn old friend of mine would mail a note to all of her friends bring them up-to-date on the things that were going on in her life, her professional successes, accomplishments and, occasionally, the frustrations. It allowed her to stay in contact with lot of people who would offer her advice, suggestions and jobs.Today, with email, it is much easier than before.Every 6 months, send an email to all of your friends, acquaintances and former colleagues to bring them up-to-date. Skip the complaints about your boss. Former colleagues may be in contact with them and you don’t wa
- Don't believe that the best defence is a good offence - that is part of the Competing strategy.
- Work the issue, not the person: this means addressing the behaviour rather than the entire existence of that person. There is a different level of ownership for behaviours, and people will take less offence if you criticise their behaviour than if you criticise them personally. Never lay blame, as this will only fan the fires.
- If you are not getting anywhere, ask for further information from the other person about the reasons for their behaviour, but don't ask the questions with 'why' at the beginning - if you do this will actively put the other person under the spotlight and they will get defensive.
Remember above all, that people who enjoy creating conflict are ultimately power-seekers who enjoy controlling others. Frequently this is because either they have suffered in a similar way before or feel that they have very little control over their own lives and does anything they can to feel in control. A little compassion will take you a long way both in resolving the situation and in putting it behind you when it is resolved.
A Final Word on Bullying
Dr Gary Namie, co-founder and president of the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute, c
Private investigators have come a long way of establishing themselves as respectable professionals with the kind of hazardous work that they do. It is fairly often that private investigators work irregular hours because a certain job may need some surveillance work done or try to contact people who are not available during the day. For most private investigators, early morning, weekend and even holiday work is just a common occurrence.Private investigators spend most of their time away from their offices conducting interviews or doing surveillance, but there are some cases where some may need to work in their office most of the day conducting important computer searches, checking paper trails and making a lot of phone calls.Senior private investigators who have their own agencies and employ other investigators are the ones who work primarily in an office and follow normal working hours just like the rest of the population.The private investigator can work in a
We rely on and spend more time with our colleagues than with most other people in our lives: yet we frequently experience conflict at work. This is a problem that is beginning to be recognised, but it is still not being dealt with either effectively or sufficiently. Conflict is such a broad term for what can be experienced, ranging from office gossip to outright bullying. In nearly every single office there are always going to be personality clashes at some point, and most of the time they will be fairly easily sorted out. However, sometimes they aren't and there is often no other option than to resign. The real problem underlying this situation is that people really don't have the skills to deal with these kinds of situations. They frequently accept the problem when it is happening and then get really upset afterwards.
The Five Strategies for Dealing with Conflict
1. Avoidance
This is the most frequently used strategy along with accommodation. Here conflict is avoided and when it does appear the person using this strategy refuses to engage in the situation.
Example: Someone making a sly comment and the person it was aimed at simply walking away.
While this obviously is not a good way of dealing with conflict the majority of the time as it tends not to help, it is worth being considered as a strategy for when the conflict is just not worth the effort of being addressed.
2. Accommodation
Here you take the conflict and submit.
Example: Listening to unhelpful criticism and believing it.
Again, very frequently used especially where there is low confidence and self-esteem. This is another not very successful method of dealing with conflict, but it will do if you know that there is a solution coming soon.
3. Compete
This one means that you play the person at his or her own game and work hard to get your own way in the conflict.
Example: Someone starts spreading rumours about you, so you do the same in return in an attempt to discredit the power of the other person's word.
This can be very useful when the conflict is mild and you are passionate about your stance, but can lead to a vicious circle as the conflict escalates. Be very sure you want to use this strategy as lowering yourself to someone else's level rarely shows you in the best light.
4. Compromise
A much more useful tactic to use: here you don't give in to the conflict, but work out a solution somewhere between the two sides.
Example: Someone delegates a huge amount of work to your already over-filled plate, you respond by taking on some of it, and then recommending that this person parcel out the rest to other people.
This is the strategy of choice for most untrained managers as this is how we frequently deal with children in real life - and so it is a behaviour we all know about. This can of course lead to the obvious downfall of the actual solution leaving none of the sides happy. This is best to use when the goal is to get past the issue and move on - with the issue having relatively little significance.
5. Collaborate
The most useful tactic, particularly with extremes of conflict such as bullying. The aim here is to focus on working together to arrive at a solution, where both sides have ownership of and commitment to the solution.
Example 1:
You and someone else are at completely opposed viewpoints over a project. You sit down with them and work out why they believe in their point of view, and explain your own. Clever and lateral thinking can provide a solution, which answers both sides, but is not a compromise.
Example 2:
Someone is bullying you at work. You talk to this person using the strategies below and collaborate on modifying their behaviour.
Use this strategy when the goal is to meet as many of the current needs as is possible. The most difficult strategy if confidence is low as it involves actually naming the issue to the conflict-creator, which can cause huge anxiety and fear.
To collaborate successfully on an issue such as bullying or continuing conflict you need to follow a few basic guidelines.
- You must recognise that part of the problem is your own fault: you allowed it to happen and did not try to address it to begin with. You can use this aloud and actively take part of the responsibility, as this will put the onus onto the other person to take the other part of the responsibility.
- Remember that we frequently don't like in others what we don't want to see in ourselves, but find occasionally anyway. Be very sure that you have not committed the same conflict and that you do not in the future.
- Manage yourself during the resolution attempt - learn calming strategies if you are hot-tempered, or confidence boosters if you are shy. Try not to be emotional, as emotion will only make things escalate.
- Maintain eye contact and use your body language to convey your belief in what you are saying. Don't fiddle with something nervously, don't cross your arms protectively, and don't put yourself on a lower level than the other person (such as sitting on a lower chair).
- Don't believe that the best defence is a good offence - that is part of the Competing strategy.
- Work the issue, not the person: this means addressing the behaviour rather than the entire existence of that person. There is a different level of ownership for behaviours, and people will take less offence if you criticise their behaviour than if you criticise them personally. Never lay blame, as this will only fan the fires.
- If you are not getting anywhere, ask for further information from the other person about the reasons for their behaviour, but don't ask the questions with 'why' at the beginning - if you do this will actively put the other person under the spotlight and they will get defensive.
Remember above all, that people who enjoy creating conflict are ultimately power-seekers who enjoy controlling others. Frequently this is because either they have suffered in a similar way before or feel that they have very little control over their own lives and does anything they can to feel in control. A little compassion will take you a long way both in resolving the situation and in putting it behind you when it is resolved.
A Final Word on Bullying
Dr Gary Namie, co-founder and president of the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute, co
The business card is, perhaps, the least expensive and easily used advertising device available in the world of commerce. Many people do not give the time and proper consideration to the design of this very cost effective tool. It is very possible that your business card is going to create the important first impression of you and your service. Since business cards are often kept and even slid into wallets for later use that first impression might end up being a second or third impression as well.Therefore it makes sense to put that little bit of extra effort into the design of yours. Custom business cards should contain as many as eleven different and important elements. Several of these elements are for proper identification of your business. These include the business name and the company logo. If you are an independent agent, you can focus your efforts on the remaining elements which will allow you the chance to utilize more graphics.Regardless of what type of bu
2. Accommodation
Here you take the conflict and submit.
Example: Listening to unhelpful criticism and believing it.
Again, very frequently used especially where there is low confidence and self-esteem. This is another not very successful method of dealing with conflict, but it will do if you know that there is a solution coming soon.
3. Compete
This one means that you play the person at his or her own game and work hard to get your own way in the conflict.
Example: Someone starts spreading rumours about you, so you do the same in return in an attempt to discredit the power of the other person's word.
This can be very useful when the conflict is mild and you are passionate about your stance, but can lead to a vicious circle as the conflict escalates. Be very sure you want to use this strategy as lowering yourself to someone else's level rarely shows you in the best light.
4. Compromise
A much more useful tactic to use: here you don't give in to the conflict, but work out a solution somewhere between the two sides.
Example: Someone delegates a huge amount of work to your already over-filled plate, you respond by taking on some of it, and then recommending that this person parcel out the rest to other people.
This is the strategy of choice for most untrained managers as this is how we frequently deal with children in real life - and so it is a behaviour we all know about. This can of course lead to the obvious downfall of the actual solution leaving none of the sides happy. This is best to use when the goal is to get past the issue and move on - with the issue having relatively little significance.
5. Collaborate
The most useful tactic, particularly with extremes of conflict such as bullying. The aim here is to focus on working together to arrive at a solution, where both sides have ownership of and commitment to the solution.
Example 1:
You and someone else are at completely opposed viewpoints over a project. You sit down with them and work out why they believe in their point of view, and explain your own. Clever and lateral thinking can provide a solution, which answers both sides, but is not a compromise.
Example 2:
Someone is bullying you at work. You talk to this person using the strategies below and collaborate on modifying their behaviour.
Use this strategy when the goal is to meet as many of the current needs as is possible. The most difficult strategy if confidence is low as it involves actually naming the issue to the conflict-creator, which can cause huge anxiety and fear.
To collaborate successfully on an issue such as bullying or continuing conflict you need to follow a few basic guidelines.
- You must recognise that part of the problem is your own fault: you allowed it to happen and did not try to address it to begin with. You can use this aloud and actively take part of the responsibility, as this will put the onus onto the other person to take the other part of the responsibility.
- Remember that we frequently don't like in others what we don't want to see in ourselves, but find occasionally anyway. Be very sure that you have not committed the same conflict and that you do not in the future.
- Manage yourself during the resolution attempt - learn calming strategies if you are hot-tempered, or confidence boosters if you are shy. Try not to be emotional, as emotion will only make things escalate.
- Maintain eye contact and use your body language to convey your belief in what you are saying. Don't fiddle with something nervously, don't cross your arms protectively, and don't put yourself on a lower level than the other person (such as sitting on a lower chair).
- Don't believe that the best defence is a good offence - that is part of the Competing strategy.
- Work the issue, not the person: this means addressing the behaviour rather than the entire existence of that person. There is a different level of ownership for behaviours, and people will take less offence if you criticise their behaviour than if you criticise them personally. Never lay blame, as this will only fan the fires.
- If you are not getting anywhere, ask for further information from the other person about the reasons for their behaviour, but don't ask the questions with 'why' at the beginning - if you do this will actively put the other person under the spotlight and they will get defensive.
Remember above all, that people who enjoy creating conflict are ultimately power-seekers who enjoy controlling others. Frequently this is because either they have suffered in a similar way before or feel that they have very little control over their own lives and does anything they can to feel in control. A little compassion will take you a long way both in resolving the situation and in putting it behind you when it is resolved.
A Final Word on Bullying
Dr Gary Namie, co-founder and president of the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute, c
There have been several ads promoting books and reports on thissubject, or included as part of the contents in several mailorder books stating: "SAVE UP TO 17% ON ALL YOUR ADVERTISING" It's legitimate, practical and effective, but like so many otherpromises, there are pros and cons involved. The pros are fairlyobvious. By setting up your own advertising agency and placingyour advertising under your agency name, most magazines willallow you the standard 15% agency commission plus and extra 2%cash discount. If your annual ad budget is $5,000 this amounts toa saving of $850 a year, which is a considerable piece of change. The negative side to this operation involves the initial cost ofestablishing your new agency, which isn't very difficult, but itmight be considered time-consuming. To initiate an agency youwill have to have a name for it other than your regular businessname. Example: If your company n
This is the strategy of choice for most untrained managers as this is how we frequently deal with children in real life - and so it is a behaviour we all know about. This can of course lead to the obvious downfall of the actual solution leaving none of the sides happy. This is best to use when the goal is to get past the issue and move on - with the issue having relatively little significance.
5. Collaborate
The most useful tactic, particularly with extremes of conflict such as bullying. The aim here is to focus on working together to arrive at a solution, where both sides have ownership of and commitment to the solution.
Example 1:
You and someone else are at completely opposed viewpoints over a project. You sit down with them and work out why they believe in their point of view, and explain your own. Clever and lateral thinking can provide a solution, which answers both sides, but is not a compromise.
Example 2:
Someone is bullying you at work. You talk to this person using the strategies below and collaborate on modifying their behaviour.
Use this strategy when the goal is to meet as many of the current needs as is possible. The most difficult strategy if confidence is low as it involves actually naming the issue to the conflict-creator, which can cause huge anxiety and fear.
To collaborate successfully on an issue such as bullying or continuing conflict you need to follow a few basic guidelines.
- You must recognise that part of the problem is your own fault: you allowed it to happen and did not try to address it to begin with. You can use this aloud and actively take part of the responsibility, as this will put the onus onto the other person to take the other part of the responsibility.
- Remember that we frequently don't like in others what we don't want to see in ourselves, but find occasionally anyway. Be very sure that you have not committed the same conflict and that you do not in the future.
- Manage yourself during the resolution attempt - learn calming strategies if you are hot-tempered, or confidence boosters if you are shy. Try not to be emotional, as emotion will only make things escalate.
- Maintain eye contact and use your body language to convey your belief in what you are saying. Don't fiddle with something nervously, don't cross your arms protectively, and don't put yourself on a lower level than the other person (such as sitting on a lower chair).
- Don't believe that the best defence is a good offence - that is part of the Competing strategy.
- Work the issue, not the person: this means addressing the behaviour rather than the entire existence of that person. There is a different level of ownership for behaviours, and people will take less offence if you criticise their behaviour than if you criticise them personally. Never lay blame, as this will only fan the fires.
- If you are not getting anywhere, ask for further information from the other person about the reasons for their behaviour, but don't ask the questions with 'why' at the beginning - if you do this will actively put the other person under the spotlight and they will get defensive.
Remember above all, that people who enjoy creating conflict are ultimately power-seekers who enjoy controlling others. Frequently this is because either they have suffered in a similar way before or feel that they have very little control over their own lives and does anything they can to feel in control. A little compassion will take you a long way both in resolving the situation and in putting it behind you when it is resolved.
A Final Word on Bullying
Dr Gary Namie, co-founder and president of the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute, c
In the United States, a PA, or a Physician’s Assistant, is a non-physician therapist, who is licensed to practice medicine under the supervision of a physician. In many cases, this supervision does not have to be direct and many Physician’s Assistants practice in distant and remote locations like satellite clinics.Physician Assistants prescribe medicine and treat patients and in some places in the United States, they are given a DEA number that gives them the power to prescribe specific controlled medicines, such as narcotics. In surgical procedures, Physician Assistants act as first assists during a surgery. They also offer medical services, which are compensated by a third party insurance company or by Medicare.How They FareIn the year 2005, PA’s held around 64,000 jobs. The number of jobs available is greater in proportion with the number of practicing Physician Assistants, since some PA’s hold more than two jobs. For instance, many Physician Assistants wor
To collaborate successfully on an issue such as bullying or continuing conflict you need to follow a few basic guidelines.
- You must recognise that part of the problem is your own fault: you allowed it to happen and did not try to address it to begin with. You can use this aloud and actively take part of the responsibility, as this will put the onus onto the other person to take the other part of the responsibility.
- Remember that we frequently don't like in others what we don't want to see in ourselves, but find occasionally anyway. Be very sure that you have not committed the same conflict and that you do not in the future.
- Manage yourself during the resolution attempt - learn calming strategies if you are hot-tempered, or confidence boosters if you are shy. Try not to be emotional, as emotion will only make things escalate.
- Maintain eye contact and use your body language to convey your belief in what you are saying. Don't fiddle with something nervously, don't cross your arms protectively, and don't put yourself on a lower level than the other person (such as sitting on a lower chair).
- Don't believe that the best defence is a good offence - that is part of the Competing strategy.
- Work the issue, not the person: this means addressing the behaviour rather than the entire existence of that person. There is a different level of ownership for behaviours, and people will take less offence if you criticise their behaviour than if you criticise them personally. Never lay blame, as this will only fan the fires.
- If you are not getting anywhere, ask for further information from the other person about the reasons for their behaviour, but don't ask the questions with 'why' at the beginning - if you do this will actively put the other person under the spotlight and they will get defensive.
Remember above all, that people who enjoy creating conflict are ultimately power-seekers who enjoy controlling others. Frequently this is because either they have suffered in a similar way before or feel that they have very little control over their own lives and does anything they can to feel in control. A little compassion will take you a long way both in resolving the situation and in putting it behind you when it is resolved.
A Final Word on Bullying
Dr Gary Namie, co-founder and president of the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute, c
The content of your reference letters is a reflection of your character, experiences, skills, and associations with others. An exceptional reference letter can be a positive factor for you to land that perfect job, to receive that promotion, or to gain acceptance /scholarship to that dream university. You might think that reference letters are beyond your control. However, that is not always the case.You are vital to successful reference letters. Some tips to assist in the quality of your reference letters are as follows:Establish Your CredentialsGet to know people of all ages and professions. The length of your association strengthens the reference. Concentrate on establishing your credentials by developing a variety of experiences, skills, pleasant associations, and character traits.Be UniqueIf you want to be the one selected, then you have to rise above the crowd of candidates. Your uniqueness is revealed by your differences, not your simila
- Don't believe that the best defence is a good offence - that is part of the Competing strategy.
- Work the issue, not the person: this means addressing the behaviour rather than the entire existence of that person. There is a different level of ownership for behaviours, and people will take less offence if you criticise their behaviour than if you criticise them personally. Never lay blame, as this will only fan the fires.
- If you are not getting anywhere, ask for further information from the other person about the reasons for their behaviour, but don't ask the questions with 'why' at the beginning - if you do this will actively put the other person under the spotlight and they will get defensive.
Remember above all, that people who enjoy creating conflict are ultimately power-seekers who enjoy controlling others. Frequently this is because either they have suffered in a similar way before or feel that they have very little control over their own lives and does anything they can to feel in control. A little compassion will take you a long way both in resolving the situation and in putting it behind you when it is resolved.
A Final Word on Bullying
Dr Gary Namie, co-founder and president of the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute, conducted an online survey of 1,000 people who claimed to have been bullied at work, finding that 37% were eventually fired, and 33% quit their jobs. In a reversal of the typical childhood bullying scenario, in which unpopular and apparently weak kids are picked on most, adult victims in the workplace tend to be very capable and charismatic people. The bully sees them as a threat, and determines to get them out of the picture. Most workplace bullies are thought to be women -- 58% according to those Namie surveyed -- and so are their targets -- 80% of those surveyed. The estimated figure is that half the adult population will experience severe conflict at work at least once in their working life. That is a scary statistic - and the majority of people don't expect conflict and don't know how to deal with it when it intrudes.
Bullying conjures up images of schools and young children, but it is growing trend in the workplace, which is rarely tackled openly even if you are lucky enough to have policies to deal with this issue. There are legal options to take should the strategies above not resolve the conflict. Don't ever just put up with bullying, seek help and advice.
To learn more about bullying and what you can do about it, I recommend visiting www.bullyonline.org - it has a lot of good information and further resources.
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